resolutions?
don't get me wrong, i hate self-help books or any book that comes anywhere near the vicinity of this genre. and i would not have even dared to read this book if Long hadn't forced it into my hand and made me. i even let it sit on my desk for a couple of days just out of spite really - thinking "i don't need another person to tell me how i need to feel".
but Long swore by it, and again reminded me of this fact today when he came over.
so i read it tonight. cover to cover. in one sitting. and Long was right (damn you!), this book is great. the sad thing is, my friends have been trying to tell me these things all along and i have to finally listen to a book. sorry guys.
the book is called He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
yes i know, it's THAT book. the Sex and the City book. the one that was on Oprah.
but i looked past that and now it's time for you to do the same.
because this book has now given women the power to see through the excuses. because that's really what they are. and men will have to realize that we are now wise to this. wise to your lies (pardon the rhyme).
Lesson #1 Learnt: an excuse is a polite rejection
i realized that i am the queen of excuses - not for myself, but for other people. for some reason i find tens of thousands of excuses for why other people "forget" to call me or are not around when they said they would be or are late for an outing. i don't think i realized how much i do it but i do. and that ends now. all this does for me is allow myself to settle and to live in some dream world where people can walk all over me. now i understand this sounds harsh, but the only way i'm going to be able to quit this bad habit is to go cold turkey.
Lesson #2 Learnt: you deserve a fucking phone call
these words are printed in the book. these exact words. they spoke to me. they leapt off the page and right into every relationship i've ever had. "the word 'busy' is the relationship weapon of mass destruction." it seems like a good excuse, but when you get to the bottom of it, it's just that, an excuse. and we now all know where i stand on making those. no one is ever too busy to call someone they are really into.
Lesson #3 Learnt: never settle, even when you might want to
it is tempting when you really like someone, to settle for less, to try to pretend to ignore all these excuses and signs that he's really just not that into you. but from now on, i promise to never lower my standards. i deserve to be liked. and so do they, but things have to be equal.
Lesson #4 Learnt: "I don't want to go out with you" means just that
the person you miss is also the person who just broke up with you. cut him off. someone who doesn't want to be with you anymore isn't worth the time spent worrying about. be around people who want to be with you.
Lesson #5 Learnt: don't confuse being classy with being a doormat.
class is walking away. always be classy, not crazy.
Lesson #6 Learnt: take what you want from the book
not everything is spot on. and as always, you need to have your own opinions and views about things. but i think that, well for me at least, it made all those nagging breakup questions that run through your head at 2am seem not so important anymore. and it made me feel like it's ok to ask for what i want in a relationship.
in saying all of this, i understand that not everyone might feel they could benefit from this book. i feel i did because it restored some objectivity into my brain, and my heart. and for that, i am grateful.
and also in saying this, not all guys are bad. and not all guys who break up with me are bad.
shoutouts to two who have been good to me in recent happenings. i appreciate it.
ok. enough philosophical stuff for tonight. it's bed time.
